I Love You

My dear friend (whom I've yet to actually meet), Tyler, challenged her readers to bring their quiet time with God a step further. She suggested that we ask God a question, and then spend time listening for His answer. This is an area of my spiritual life that I don't practice enough. While I frequently recognize when God is speaking to me, I don't just sit and listen for him regularly. I long to hear from Him more, and when Tyler posted this challenge, I knew it was what I needed to do.


Yesterday morning, instead of reading His Word, I spent time in prayer. Praising, confessing, thanking, supplicating, and then asking. What I asked Him was simple.

Lord, what do You want to tell me right now?

Within seconds, some words came to my mind.

I love you.

I brushed them off, thinking it was too simplistic, so I continued to clear my thoughts and asked again.

What do you want to tell me right now?

A few moments later, an image popped into my head.

It was an image of someone gently cupping another person's face in his hands, similar to what I do when I want my child to look into my eyes and really hear what I'm saying.

And then the words again.

I love you.

I knew it was God, and it took a few seconds to realize just how much I needed it. Lately, I've been feeling quite unlovable, even a bit unloved. And as I let His sweet nothings sink in, I realized it was just what I needed.

What could be better than being loved by the Maker of the Universe?

I ended my quiet time feeling quite on top of the world. Very quickly, though, the demands of the day started to bring me down again, and by the time the children went to their rooms for quiet time, I was hating myself. The day had been challenging, and I had not met the challenges with grace, love, or patience. Quite the opposite.

I laid on my bed and cried, and then I spoke words that I hadn't spoken for a long time.

I hate myself.
I hate myself.
I hate myself.

Over and over. And each time I said it, I heard God's words whispered to me again.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

And just like that, I snapped out of it. The Truth quickly put a stop to the Lies that Satan was spewing.

Isn't God amazing? He gave me a message yesterday morning that He knew would not only be a balm for my soul that morning, but that would also conquer lies later in the day.

Even today, I can't get that tender image out of my mind. I know God was trying to give me a glimpse into His love for me, and while I always know His love for me, sometimes I forget how personal it really is.

He loves me that much.
He loves you that much.

No matter what you've done or what you're going through, His love is one that tenderly cups your face in His hands and whispers, I love you.

Oh, how He loves.

The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing.

~Zephaniah 3:17

Linked to Without Question at Titus2:3-5

(This has long been one of my favorite songs. And this video completely makes me smile.)

K-LOVE - David Crowder "How He Loves" LIVE from K-LOVE Radio on Vimeo.

(Same song, but this is the official music video and I love it...it's fun to watch!)

One Thousand Gifts: 03-28-2011 {Giveaway}

A short list this week, not because the gifts have been sparse, but because the eyes haven't been open often enough. God, open my eyes that I might see!

{Giveaway details are at the end of this post!}

#119 - the sound of crickets!

#120 - a lone moth fluttering at the window

#121 - the older Wal-Mart employee who gave the kids each a piece of candy "for being such good helpers" and the extra piece she gave me, saying, "Mama deserves TWO" :) It still makes me smile.

#122 - getting reacquainted with an old friend (who isn't actually OLD), seeing three of her five beautiful children, watching her mother them so gently, and the privilege of praying for her and her husband as they consider God's will for their family. Such a blessing!

#123 - hearing "I wanna cuddle up" from the two-year-old's lips...so sweet. :)

#124 - answering lots of homeschool questions, the act of which served as a reminder of the wonders of homeschooling, just when I needed it most

#125 - spring snow (the last?)

#126 - HOPE. Always, there's hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you have your own copy of Ann's book, One Thousand Gifts? I sure hope so, because no book (besides the Holy Bible) has ever impacted my life as much as this book. God blessed me so much through this book that I want to give it away to every person I know.

Since I don't have that kind of money :) , I've decided to go on a (much) smaller scale and give away five copies of Ann's amazing book. And since only approximately three people read this blog (haha!) I thought it would probably be wise to space those five copies out over five weeks.

So TODAY, I'm giving away another one copy of Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. Here are the details:

• Enter by simply leaving a comment! Any old comment will do.
• You can receive up to three additional entries by sharing this giveaway through Twitter, Facebook, or your blog. (One entry for each...please leave an additional comment linking to your tweet, blog, etc.)
• Entries can be received up until Friday, 11:59 a.m. CDT. I'll announce the (randomly-picked) winner sometime Friday afternoon or evening.
• I'll ship the book directly from Amazon to you or a friend or relative of your choice.
• U.S. participants only please. (Which is somewhat ironic since Ann herself lives in Canada...hmmm.)
• This giveaway is sponsored by the famous Mama Bird (yep, that would be me) and her husband. :)

I've got a little something up my sleeve for the final week of this giveaway!

And again, will you pray with me? That God will orchestrate this giveaway so that this book ends up in the hands of whomever He deems?

{Thank you.}

Let's all have an eyes-wide-open week!

Your Homeschooling Questions Answered: Part 10

More answers to your questions! (Please continue to ask away!)

Questions answered in other posts:
• Why do you homeschool?
• We’re thinking about home-schooling, but the idea of it is completely overwhelming. Where do I even start? What are the rules and laws? How do I know what my child needs to learn and when?
• What does your school day look like?
• How smart do you have to be to homeschool? What if I screw my kids up?
• What would you say are the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling?
• Are you afraid your subjects of dislike will rub off on your kids?
• Any suggestions for keeping little ones busy during school time?
• Are you super patient?
• How do you know if you're homeschooling for the right reasons, and not selfish reasons?
• Are you held accountable to the state for your children's educations?
• How you do try to make sure your kids end up "normal" and aren't socially-ignorant (or just plain weird) when they go out in public?
• If you are financially-strained and/or stingy, how do you know how much you really, truly NEED to spend on materials for homeschooling?
• How do you ever get away as a couple? Do you have someone willing to watch all four kids? Do they homeschool?
• What's your take on the claims that homeschoolers "shelter", "brainwash", and/or "indoctrinate" their children?
• Will you homeschool through high school? If so, what about sports? Prom? Graduation? Diploma?
• What is your take on homeschooled kids enjoying the 'fun stuff' at public school but not the academic stuff (dual-enrollment)? And if you dual-enroll, how do you combat negative attitudes from public-school parents?
• Do you follow the local school calendar? When do you start and stop your school year? What do you do for breaks?
• If both parents are homebodies, how do you make sure you get your kids involved socially?

"When you can sometimes already feel like you're not 'good enough' at being a mom/wife, how do you add in homeschooling without being crushed under the pressure of then also feeling like you're not 'good enough' as a teacher?"

The cursor has been blink-blink-blinking at me as I try to find the right words to answer this. The truth is, we’re never good enough as a wife, we’re never good enough as a mom, and we’re never good enough as a teacher.

For me, these shortcomings can sometimes get the best of me. They come pounding down upon me like violent waves, and I feel like I'm sinking. Hopeless. The key to handling that pressure is to keep my focus on Jesus, not on the storm. When I focus on the wind and the waves – the resistance and the disturbances – that come with homeschooling, motherhood, marriage, it’s easy to sink under the pressure. But when I focus on Jesus, I can walk on water.

Here's what I mean....

When I don’t spend time at Jesus feet daily, the pressure truly is too much. All of it weighs me down and makes me feel like I simply can’t handle it all. But that’s a lie from the Devil. I can handle it all because God is my strength. As long as I focus on Jesus by putting Him first, the rest follows. I’m a better mom, wife, and teacher. But still, I'm never good enough according to God's standards. I still – always – fall short. Always. That’s where God comes in.

“God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.”

God has taught me two truths that have changed my lilfe:

My failures as a mom do not have the power to produce unsaved children. God is way bigger than that. He alone can save my children from Hell.

My failures as a teacher do not have the power to produce uneducated children. God is way bigger than that. He alone can cause my teachings to remain in my children’s minds, according to His will for their lives.

So I love the best I can…

I teach the best I can….

And I teach love the best I can…

Then I let go…

And let God.

{Have a question you’d like to ask? Use the form below to answer as many questions as you like. It’s completely anonymous…so fire away!}

Your Homeschooling Questions Answered: Part 9

More answers to your questions! (Please continue to ask away!)

Questions answered in other posts:
• Why do you homeschool?
• We’re thinking about home-schooling, but the idea of it is completely overwhelming. Where do I even start? What are the rules and laws? How do I know what my child needs to learn and when?
• What does your school day look like?
• How smart do you have to be to homeschool? What if I screw my kids up?
• What would you say are the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling?
• Are you afraid your subjects of dislike will rub off on your kids?
• Any suggestions for keeping little ones busy during school time?
• Are you super patient?
• How do you know if you're homeschooling for the right reasons, and not selfish reasons?
• Are you held accountable to the state for your children's educations?
• How you do try to make sure your kids end up "normal" and aren't socially-ignorant (or just plain weird) when they go out in public?
• If you are financially-strained and/or stingy, how do you know how much you really, truly NEED to spend on materials for homeschooling?
• How do you ever get away as a couple? Do you have someone willing to watch all four kids? Do they homeschool?
• What's your take on the claims that homeschoolers "shelter", "brainwash", and/or "indoctrinate" their children?
• Will you homeschool through high school? If so, what about sports? Prom? Graduation? Diploma?
• What is your take on homeschooled kids enjoying the 'fun stuff' at public school but not the academic stuff (dual-enrollment)? And if you dual-enroll, how do you combat negative attitudes from public-school parents?
• When you already struggle with feeling not "good enough" as a mom/wife, how do you add in homeschooling without being crushed under the pressure to also be "good enough" as a teacher?

"I think that you had written on your blog that you do not follow the regular school calendar. When do you start and stop your school year? What do you do for breaks?"

Our first year of homeschooling we started in the summer (2008) because I was expecting our fourth child and wanted to get a head start so we could take a couple months off after the baby was born. That following summer (2009) we went part-time in the summer, and then last summer (2010) we took the whole summer off, aside from field trips and nature walks and such. Little to no book work.

This summer my plan is to take the summer off, but I will be making some fun activity-type books for the kids (or maybe I'll buy them if I can find something that matches what I have in mind) to do 1-2 (rainy!) days per week just to keep what they've learned this year fresh in their minds. That way, hopefully our first couple weeks of school in the fall aren't spent reviewing/relearning.

Also, because we haven't read nearly as much good literature together as I'd like, I think I'd like to find some really great books to read together this summer. If they're educational as well, that's even better!

And of course, we'll do the zoo several times, Living History Farms, nature walks, etc.

I don't think that answers your question, though, now that I've re-read it.

The answer is: we do follow the calendar of our local school district, but very loosely. One time when the local school had a snow day, I declared our own snow day, but mostly we just do what works for us. We typically do school Monday through Thursday and leave Fridays open for Activity Day (through our local homeschool group), field trips, or just catch-up days. This works for us right now (might not work when they're older though!). And we take breaks as I sense we need them.


Something I've noticed about homeschooling is that, because Chris and I are solely responsible for our children's educations, we tend to capitalize on learning opportunities more than we might if we sent our children to school.

For example, one winter night we noticed the sky was clear, the moon was full, and it was at an angle where we could see it through our windows using our (new!) telescope. So instead of rushing the kids off to bed because it was past bedtime, we took the time look at the moon up-close, seeing the craters and everything. It was amazing (and actually quite emotional for me for some reason...God crafted such an amazing universe!).

Another time, we let the kids stay up almost two hours past bedtime so we could learn about bees by watching a beekeeper remove a swarm of bees that had migrated to our neighbor's tree.

And another time Chris shot a opossum that kept sneaking onto our deck and eating our cats' food, and I told him not to dispose of it until we could all get a good (hands-free) look at it. Looking back, we should have dissected it, but it was dark outside and the animal was bleeding and ew and ew and ew. I'm not a fan of the order rodentia. Nor am I fan of the order reptilia, which could pose a problem considering there's a dead, preserved snake three feet away from me, just waiting to be dissected. Ew. But at least it's dead.

I guess my point is, when you try to cultivate a learning environment, where you and your children are constantly learning together, you don't have to be as uptight about the number of days you do structured school because they're learning every single day. At least, this is what I'm learning. The further I get in this homeschooling lifestyle, the more I realize there's no reason to stress about getting through this workbook or that by a certain date.

And I suppose you could call that the "long, drawn out" answer. Sorry...it's a bad habit of mine. :)

"If both parents are homebodies (that sounds much nicer than 'antisocial'), then how do you make sure you get your homeschooled kids out and into social opportunities? How do you know if they're homebodies simply because they're your kids or if it's because you haven't given them enough opportunities to be out with peers?"

Chris and I are very much homebodies. We're not anti-social, but we just enjoy being home. Let me say this: being home as a family is turning into a lost art.

There are so many (too many!) possibilities for getting your children involved and out in society that it can turn into a rat race. We've been over-involved, when the kids were in Awana, Sunday church, sports and sports practices, homeschool group Activity day and other events, plus we had our small group Bible study. It was too, too much.

However, right now we're scaling down for a season. We're sitting out soccer this spring (sort of accidentally, actually, because I missed the deadline, but that's okay), we stopped attending Awana, we're sitting out of Bible study for a month or two, and all that's left is our homeschool group and church. We're using this down time to reevaluate what we want to do socially, to put more focus into our marriage and family (both of which can get neglected when you're over-involved and therefore over-exhausted), and to recharge. It's wonderful!

I share all of that because I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to your questions. But here are some ideas...

If you get involved in a homeschool support group (HSLDA is a great resource to find a local group), that will probably give you a ton of opportunities to get involved. Sports, dance, theater, and music are always an option if that's something your children enjoy. Volunteering is a wonderful option and one that I would like to see our family get involved in much more. Political activism is another one that Chris and I very much want to get heavily involved in, ASAP. And then there's church, small groups, getting together with close friends, inviting new friends to your home (this is one that has blessed us greatly, though we don't do it nearly as often as we should). Or you can visit veteran's homes, nursing homes, homeless shelters, etc.

Try out a few different things and go with what fits your family during whatever season you're in. The more varied the social activities, the more you'll be able to learn about what works for your children and family. And you just never know what gifts and talents your children might discover in themselves as you introduce them to these different opportunities.

We're still learning what works for our family right now, and in fact, a few things on that list are things we haven't tried yet.

So to attempt to answer your second question: if you work to create an environment for your children where they regularly go out into the world to meet a variety of new people, serve others, and fellowship, then they'll at least have the skills necessary to do so. They still might prefer being home (I know I do!), and then I guess you know they're just homebodies because that's how God wired them.

I know that doesn't really answer the questions outright, but I hope it helps a little? I just don't think there's a right answer because every child and every family is so different. Let me know if I completely missed the mark on that one and I'll try to answer it better for you. :)

{Have a question you’d like to ask? Use the form below to answer as many questions as you like. It’s completely anonymous…so fire away!}

{Giveaway} Winner!

The {week two} winner* of One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp is....

...the 4th person to comment on my giveaway post.


That would be my In-Real-Life friend, and fellow homeschool mama, jbaconrn! I don't need your shipping info since I know where you live (insert evil laugh - muahahaha), and I already got the book ordered so it should be there Tuesday! Woohoo! I think you'll love it!

And if you didn't win, you'll just have to come back on Monday to try again! :)

*winner selected using Random.org

Your Homeschooling Questions Answered: Part 8

More answers to your questions! (Please continue to ask away!)

Questions answered in other posts:
• Why do you homeschool?
• We’re thinking about home-schooling, but the idea of it is completely overwhelming. Where do I even start? What are the rules and laws? How do I know what my child needs to learn and when?
• What does your school day look like?
• How smart do you have to be to homeschool? What if I screw my kids up?
• What would you say are the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling?
• Are you afraid your subjects of dislike will rub off on your kids?
• Any suggestions for keeping little ones busy during school time?
• Are you super patient?
• How do you know if you're homeschooling for the right reasons, and not selfish reasons?
• Are you held accountable to the state for your children's educations?
• How you do try to make sure your kids end up "normal" and aren't socially-ignorant (or just plain weird) when they go out in public?
• If you are financially-strained and/or stingy, how do you know how much you really, truly NEED to spend on materials for homeschooling?
• How do you ever get away as a couple? Do you have someone willing to watch all four kids? Do they homeschool?
• What's your take on the claims that homeschoolers "shelter", "brainwash", and/or "indoctrinate" their children?
• Do you follow the local school calendar? When do you start and stop your school year? What do you do for breaks?
• If both parents are homebodies, how do you make sure you get your kids involved socially?
• When you already struggle with feeling not "good enough" as a mom/wife, how do you add in homeschooling without being crushed under the pressure to also be "good enough" as a teacher?

"Will you homeschool through high school? If so, how do you feel about your kids missing out on prom and sports and things? And what about a diploma? Can homeschool kids get a diploma?"

*plugs ears* Lalalalalalalalalalalalala. I can’t hear you!!!

I really don’t like to let myself “go there”. I’ve discovered that I can’t let myself start thinking too far ahead in this homeschool journey because I’ll drive myself to a panic attack. Seriously. I just have to trust that if God leads us there, He’ll guide us through it.

In short, I have no idea if we’ll homeschool in two years, let alone in high school. That’s completely up to God’s plan for our family. But I am definitely open to it.

As far as the kids missing out on prom and sports and such?

First of all, prom and sports and things of that nature are such a small blip on the radar of life. Their eternal value is so ridiculously minute that it’s silly to base our decision solely on prom or sports. (This is a pep talk I had to give myself a couple years ago when I considered the idea of homeschooling through high school.)

Secondly, dual-enrollment allows homeschooled children to participate in sports through their local public school (see next question!), so that’s definitely an option if any of our children should show an interest in sports, band, etc.

And many homeschool coops (a.k.a. support groups) now put on homeschool proms, so the children get the opportunity to experience this event.

Something I’ve realized is that if God leads us to homeschool through high school, our children won’t know any different. Chris and I both attended public school in high school, so we know what that entails and what our children would be “missing out on” (both the good and the bad!), but our kids won’t know any different. I have some great memories from high school, but those memories weren’t just because of the SCHOOL, but mostly because of the FRIENDSHIPS. Homeschooled kids have meaningful friendships too, and therefore will be able to make wonderful memories, whether or not their experience matches the public school experience. Likewise, Chris and I both experienced some negative aspects of public school (and private school for me), so there are pros and cons to all choices.


And it occurred to me that many kids who were homeschooled would say that the public- and private-schooled kids are missing out for one reason or the next. Many homeschooled high schoolers have much more freedom/time to pursue their passions because their "school" time takes much less time than if they went to high school. They spend less time in a desk listening to lectures, and more time learning about and discovering the things that truly interest them...the things they'll most likely pursue as a lifetime career or specialty. Can I get a hallelujah for less time in a desk listening to lectures?!?!  :)

So no matter what school option your child experiences, they can walk away from it with good and bad memories. That's why, again, it's so important to leave the decision up to God, the One who knows our children better than we do. If our children show a strong desire to experience school (whether public or private), then we will take that before the Lord as a family.

Regarding graduation, our state's homeschool association puts on a graduation ceremony for those who want that experience. I assume I'll want to experience that if God leads us to homeschool through high school. And I assume I'll bawl like a baby. :)

And finally, from what I understand, many colleges will recognize a homeschool diploma. Most look at ACT and SAT test scores more anyway. Some will only accept a diploma from an accredited school, in which case, many correspondence schools offer an accredited diploma after completing their course online (or in person). And that’s as much as I know, and I’m not sure how accurate my info is to begin with!

New subject please. ;)

"What is your take on homeschooled kids getting to go into the public school for the 'fun stuff' (sports, theater, etc.) but not for the academic stuff? And, if a homeschooled child does go for those extracurricular activities, how do you combat the attitudes from others of 'if my school isn't good enough for your kid to attend here, then why should we let your kid come here for the fun stuff?'?"

The term for that is called dual-enrollment, meaning the child is primarily homeschooled but has access to select activities and classes.

To answer the questions...

First, homeschooled children should absolutely have the access to extracurriculars, art, whatever because homeschool parents are paying property tax just like public school parents. And when a child is dual-enrolled, the state provides that school with additional funds to cover the costs of that child’s participation. So when you look at it that way the school "belongs" to the homeschool child just as much as the public-school child.

Secondly, parents of public school children should try to remember that homeschool parents are just making the decisions they think are best for their family. It's nothing against them, their school, their choices, their kids, their family. And it's safe to say that if the parents are willing to send their children to school for the "extras", then they don't have anything against the school at all! If they did, they probably wouldn't send their kids there at all. That's my assumption, but maybe I shouldn't assume.

Finally, I don’t know how to combat those attitudes, except to just hold firm to your convictions and be confident in your decisions. Don’t get defensive or snarky. Just let it bounce off, be loving, and rest in God’s love for you and them. Easier said than done, I’m sure, but that’s the best I can say. If it was me, and either my children or myself or Chris was receiving too much flack, Chris and I would step back and evaluate if the benefits were worth the cost. And we’d pray about it. Perhaps God is using these dual-enrolled families to teach others that homeschooling is a wonderfully legitimate option that is not inferior to public schooling or private schooling, and that we're all parents trying to do the best we know how for our children.

Moms and dads...let's take it easy on one another. We all - each one of us - are stumbling through this hard journey called parenthood. Each family is uniquely different, but we all have this common bond: we struggle. Let's make it a point to stop looking down on one another for making choices that look different than ours*, okay? It's hard enough without having the condemnation of others on our shoulders, isn't it?

Deal?

Good. :)

*I'm not talking about being tolerant towards lifestyles that go against the Word of God. But we can't be salt and light if we're too busy acting superior.

{Have a question you’d like to ask? Use the form below to answer as many questions as you like. It’s completely anonymous…so fire away!}

Your Homeschooling Questions Answered: Part 7

More answers to your questions! (Please continue to ask away!)

Questions answered in other posts:
• Why do you homeschool?
• We’re thinking about home-schooling, but the idea of it is completely overwhelming. Where do I even start? What are the rules and laws? How do I know what my child needs to learn and when?
• What does your school day look like?
• How smart do you have to be to homeschool? What if I screw my kids up?
• What would you say are the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling?
• Are you afraid your subjects of dislike will rub off on your kids?
• Any suggestions for keeping little ones busy during school time?
• Are you super patient?
• How do you know if you're homeschooling for the right reasons, and not selfish reasons?
• Are you held accountable to the state for your children's educations?
• How you do try to make sure your kids end up "normal" and aren't socially-ignorant (or just plain weird) when they go out in public?
• If you are financially-strained and/or stingy, how do you know how much you really, truly NEED to spend on materials for homeschooling?
• Will you homeschool through high school? If so, what about sports? Prom? Graduation? Diploma?
• What is your take on homeschooled kids enjoying the 'fun stuff' at public school but not the academic stuff (dual-enrollment)? And if you dual-enroll, how do you combat negative attitudes from public-school parents?
• Do you follow the local school calendar? When do you start and stop your school year? What do you do for breaks?
• If both parents are homebodies, how do you make sure you get your kids involved socially?
• When you already struggle with feeling not "good enough" as a mom/wife, how do you add in homeschooling without being crushed under the pressure to also be "good enough" as a teacher?

"How do you ever get away? I mean on a couple's mini-vacay or at all during the day? Do you have someone willing to watch all 4 kids daytimes/overnight/etc.? Do they do school?"

Um, we don’t much. That’s the simple answer.

Chris and I get away for dates outside the home an average of once every 2-3 months. I know that doesn’t sound like enough, and sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough, but we try to remember that we can have quality time right here at home. We get take-out and watch a movie, play games, talk, whatever. But we do go through seasons where we don’t make the effort to do that enough, and we can see how it affects our marriage.

Regarding mini-vacations. Hmmm. Chris and I go to our state’s homeschool conference together every year, and we really love getting a hotel room and making a 2-day weekend of it. It’s good for both of us because we’re surrounded by other homeschool parents, and we leave feeling like all of our sacrifices are so worth it. We leave feeling encouraged. We leave feeling less alone. It’s my favorite weekend of the year. My parents always watch the kids that weekend.

Chris and I also decided last year that we were each going to take at least two weekends to get away by ourselves. As in, me by myself, Chris by himself. For me it’s basically a weekend away with Jesus. It really makes such a difference for me.

We also talked about trying to get away as a couple one more time per year (in addition to the conference weekend), but it’s hard to drop four kids off without feeling guilty, especially with Aniston being the age she is (she’s two and shows it!).

And if we were to get away as a couple for a week, we wouldn’t throw the responsibility of homeschooling onto someone else’s lap. It’s our calling, not the calling of either of our parents, so we wouldn’t want them to take on that burden.

I think our current society puts way too much emphasis on time away for couples. This is a relatively new phenomenon, when you think about it. For centuries, actually for millennia, parents/couples didn’t just jaunt away and leave their kids. Of course, I’m not saying it’s wrong (and if it is, then I’m as guilty as the next person), but this “time away” for couples obviously isn’t doing that much to help marriages, considering that one in two marriages ends in divorce. We as a society put too much emphasis on “getting away” and so quickly forget that a marriage can be great simply by working at it every. single. day.

I’m preaching to myself here. I needed that pep talk. :)

"Some people are concerned by religious homeschoolers sheltering their children from other points of view. They even go as far as calling it 'indoctrination' and 'brainwashing'. What’s your take on that?"

Oh boy. I’ve heard this argument before, actually, and it has caused me to take a step back and think about that view point. Here’s what I think:

1. I don’t necessarily think that sheltering our children is such a bad thing while they’re young. In fact, I think it’s a mostly good thing. My opinion.
2. We don’t shelter our children from differing points of view. In fact, we quite frequently lay other (age-appropriate) points of view before them (evolution, other religions, etc.), and we then lay before them Biblical facts and scientific evidence that support the Bible (Apologia science books teach apologetics from the git-go, and I’ve learned SO MUCH myself!). We do, however, speak of the Bible, the stories within the Bible, and God and Jesus as fact, because we believe with every fiber in our being that it is fact. Truth. I guess that’s the beauty of being a parent: you can raise your children according to your beliefs.
3. As far as brainwashing and indoctrination goes, here’s my blunt opinion. If your child goes to a school where they teach extreme tolerance towards things that directly oppose the Word of God, such as teaching that evolution is FACT (and let me say this: according to the standards set by the scientific community, there is ZERO solid evidence for evolution, which makes evolution a belief system in and of itself), then you could say your child has the potential to be indoctrinated/brainwashed/etc. with those beliefs. When it comes down to it, aren’t we all indoctrinated to some degree according to how we are raised and what we are taught? Regardless of whether your child is HOME schooled, PUBLIC schooled, or PRIVATE schooled, indoctrination happens on some level, right?

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

You’re welcome. :)

And thank you for that challenging question!

{Have a question you’d like to ask? Use the form below to answer as many questions as you like. It’s completely anonymous…so fire away!}

Your Homeschooling Questions Answered: Part 6

More answers to your questions! (Please continue to ask away!)

Questions answered in other posts:
• Why do you homeschool?
• We’re thinking about home-schooling, but the idea of it is completely overwhelming. Where do
    I even start? What are the rules and laws? How do I know what my child needs to learn and when?
• What does your school day look like?
• How smart do you have to be to homeschool? What if I screw my kids up?
• What would you say are the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling?
• Are you afraid your subjects of dislike will rub off on your kids?
• Any suggestions for keeping little ones busy during school time?
• Are you super patient?
• How do you know if you're homeschooling for the right reasons, and not selfish reasons?
• Will you homeschool through high school? If so, what about sports? Prom? Graduation? Diploma?
• What is your take on homeschooled kids enjoying the 'fun stuff' at public school but not the academic stuff (dual-enrollment)? And if you dual-enroll, how do you combat negative attitudes from public-school parents?
• Do you follow the local school calendar? When do you start and stop your school year? What do you do for breaks?
• If both parents are homebodies, how do you make sure you get your kids involved socially?
• When you already struggle with feeling not "good enough" as a mom/wife, how do you add in homeschooling without being crushed under the pressure to also be "good enough" as a teacher?

"Are you held accountable to the state for your kid’s education?"

Yes. Every state is different, but in our state there are three options.

The supervising teacher option (approved by the local school district’s superintendent) requires multiple (can’t remember exactly how many) meetings with that teacher throughout the school year. These meetings are a way to guage whether the child is making adequate progress. The supervising teacher submits an evaluation report at the end of the year, stating whether the child is making adequate progress.

The portfolio option requires the parent to keep records of the student’s work, projects, lesson plans, etc. and then the portfolio is evaluated by an approved supervising teacher at the end of the year, and the results are submitted to the state.

With the testing option, the child takes a state-approved test (SAT, ITED, ITBS, etc.) and the results are submitted to the state.

Our first year, we did the portfolio. This year we’re doing the testing option. Next year we might try the supervising teacher option. We’re still learning what works best for us. :) 

"How you do try to make sure your kids end up 'normal' and aren't socially-ignorant (or just plain weird) when they go out in public?"

I don’t want my kids to be “normal”. I want them to be rare gems in this dark world.

:)

But I know what you’re saying.

We work on teaching our kids about certain social situations at home, but mostly they learn a lot of that simply by being out and about. We frequently discuss differences in the way other people live, and I do think that’s important for EVERY family. I think too many parents are speaking negatively about homeschooling, public schooling, etc. in front of their kids, and this is not a healthy thing to do because it’s creating in our children prejudices against other children who are schooled differently than they are.

And regarding the term “weird”… I know a lot of people think that homeschoolers end up weird. I’ve seen proof that is very contrary to that; in fact, most people I personally know who have been homeschooled are anything but weird. I also know a lot of people who went to public school that would be considered weird by the general population. Is that because they went to public school? No! It’s probably because of their upbringing and their family.

(And really, I cringe that I just called others weird. Who am I to say such a thing? Ack!)

And here's a quote from a Focus on the Family article:

"Progressive home school practices have all but debunked the socialization objection."

Now that I’ve said that, we do make an effort to get our children involved outside the home. We’ve done sports, Awana, church, and homeschool Activity Day (which is organized much like school). I have no idea if people think our children are weird or unsocialized, but I see how well our kids make friends.

I think I could have just stuck with that last paragraph and done well enough, but I had to capitalize on the opportunity to share my thoughts. Thanks for putting up with me. :)

"If you are financially-strained and/or stingy, how do you know how much you really, truly NEED to spend on materials for homeschooling?"

I’ve heard of families who homeschool for basically free. With all the resources on the internet, it’s totally possible. Homeschooling for free does take much more time since you have to find all your resources and plan it all from scratch, but it’s possible.

A couple of books that I’ve heard good things about:

Homeschool Your Child for Free by Gold and Zielinski

The Ultimate Book of Homeschooling Ideas by Linda Dobson

We have a budget amount that we try to stay close to: $1400. This includes books, curricula, supplies, field trips (including a yearly pass to three great educational places nearby), memberships (HSLDA, NICHE, homeschool coop), homeschool conference, and testing/supervising teacher, etc.. To some, that probably seems like a lot. To others, it’s a drop in the bucket.

Some ways we try to save money: we use the library a lot, I buy used books from Half.com and eBay, use the internet, make our own things (sometimes), etc.

I hope that helps a little! More later...I'm out of time!

{Have a question you’d like to ask? Use the form below to answer as many questions as you like. It’s completely anonymous…so fire away!}

Your Homeschooling Questions Answered: Part 5

More answers to your questions! (Please continue to ask away!)

Questions answered in other posts:
• Why do you homeschool?
• We’re thinking about home-schooling, but the idea of it is completely overwhelming. Where do
    I even start? What are the rules and laws? How do I know what my child needs to learn and when?
• What does your school day look like?
• How smart do you have to be to homeschool? What if I screw my kids up?
• What would you say are the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling?
• Are you afraid your subjects of dislike will rub off on your kids?
• Any suggestions for keeping little ones busy during school time?
• Are you super patient?
• Are you held accountable to the state for your children's educations?
• How you do try to make sure your kids end up "normal" and aren't socially-ignorant (or just plain weird) when they go out in public?
• If you are financially-strained and/or stingy, how do you know how much you really, truly NEED to spend on materials for homeschooling?
• Will you homeschool through high school? If so, what about sports? Prom? Graduation? Diploma?
• What is your take on homeschooled kids enjoying the 'fun stuff' at public school but not the academic stuff (dual-enrollment)? And if you dual-enroll, how do you combat negative attitudes from public-school parents?
• Do you follow the local school calendar? When do you start and stop your school year? What do you do for breaks?
• If both parents are homebodies, how do you make sure you get your kids involved socially?
• When you already struggle with feeling not "good enough" as a mom/wife, how do you add in homeschooling without being crushed under the pressure to also be "good enough" as a teacher?

"How do you know if you're homeschooling for the right reasons (ie. what's best for your kids), and not that you're homeschooling for a selfish reason (eg. Thinking that you HAVE to be able to do a better job than what the public school is doing with your kid(s) right now)?"

Oh, good question!

First of all, I don’t necessarily think that home-educating your children can ever have selfish motives. Honestly, when you sit back and think about it, if you’re truly educating them at home (and not using the “homeschooling” guise as a way to protect yourself from getting tossed in jail because you’re abusing your children, which is very rare but it does happen), you have to die to self each day. I suppose some motives might seem selfish, but when you consider all the costs, it’s pretty selfless.

And here’s where I clarify that I’m not calling myself a selfless person, because for real, no joke, seriously, truly, I struggle with selfishness on a moment to moment basis. It’s one of my biggest struggles.

But I do think that you can homeschool for the wrong reasons.

I also think you can send your children to public or private school for the wrong reasons.

Just as some parents think that public or private school is the best school setting for all children, there are also some homeschool parents who think that homeschooling is the best school setting for all children.

In my opinion, they are both dead wrong.

While the Bible does tell parents to train their children in the way they should go, it doesn’t tell them specifically how to do that. I believe God left it somewhat open-ended on purpose.

I truly believe that it is God’s perfect will for some children to be in private schools.

I truly believe that it is God’s perfect will for some children to be in public schools.

I truly believe that it is God’s perfect will for some children to be home schooled.

I also believe that far too many children are in the wrong school setting for them, simply because the parents didn’t consult God in the matter.

That said, to answer the question (finally!), I believe you’re homeschooling for the right reason if it’s what God has called you to do.

Period.

Some might disagree. That’s okay.

{Have a question you’d like to ask? Use the form below to answer as many questions as you like. It’s completely anonymous…so fire away!}

Your Homeschooling Questions Answered: Part 4

More answers to your questions! (Please continue to ask away!)

Questions answered in other posts:
• Why do you homeschool?
• We’re thinking about home-schooling, but the idea of it is completely overwhelming. Where do
    I even start? What are the rules and laws? How do I know what my child needs to learn and when?
• What does your school day look like?
• How smart do you have to be to homeschool? What if I screw my kids up?
• What would you say are the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling?
• How do you know if you're homeschooling for the right reasons, and not selfish reasons?
• Are you held accountable to the state for your children's educations?
• How you do try to make sure your kids end up "normal" and aren't socially-ignorant (or just plain weird) when they go out in public?
• If you are financially-strained and/or stingy, how do you know how much you really, truly NEED to spend on materials for homeschooling?
• Will you homeschool through high school? If so, what about sports? Prom? Graduation? Diploma?
• What is your take on homeschooled kids enjoying the 'fun stuff' at public school but not the academic stuff (dual-enrollment)? And if you dual-enroll, how do you combat negative attitudes from public-school parents?
• Do you follow the local school calendar? When do you start and stop your school year? What do you do for breaks?
• If both parents are homebodies, how do you make sure you get your kids involved socially?
• When you already struggle with feeling not "good enough" as a mom/wife, how do you add in homeschooling without being crushed under the pressure to also be "good enough" as a teacher?

"Are you afraid your subjects of dislike (maybe you don't have any...mine is history!!!) will rub off on your kids? That has always been my biggest fear of homeschooling."

Somewhat, yes! History and art were my two LEAST favorite subjects and when I first started homeschooling, I was really concerned that we would ALL hate those subjects, but now that fear is gone. Here’s why.

I find that as I teach my children, I’m intrigued by what I’m learning. That’s right: by what I’M learning. In every single subject, there have been multiple times when I’ve just sat there in awe after reading about something I never knew before. I verbalize my amazement (and usually without even thinking about it!), and that rubs off on my children, to be sure.

It really helps to find the teaching and learning methods that will elicit positive responses from both you and your learners. Real books for history are the only way to go for me. I simply can’t handle textbooks and things of that nature when it comes to history. Both the kids and I prefer books that are historically accurate, told in story form, and when they can elicit an emotional response in us, it’s all the better. When a story impacts your soul and makes your feel, it becomes a part of you. You remember it.

Of course, there are some things that I don't enjoy teaching very much, but I still do it and guard my attitude. Writing is one of those subjects, but that will hopefully change once I start using an actual writing curriculum instead of trying to do it myself. I'm not a good writing teacher.


As a side note: I mentioned that my least favorite subjects as a student were history and art. My faves were math, science, and English. Wanna hear what my husband's faves were? That's right. History and art. His least favorites were math, science, and English. I can't help but feel like God did that on purpose. :)

Okay, I could go on and on, but I’ll stop there! Again, you’re welcome.

"Next fall I will have a 1st grader and a preschooler and a 2 1/2 year old toddler and an 8 month old. Any suggestions for keeping the little ones busy during school time?"

This is challenging, and I’ll be totally honest and tell you that this has been a very hard year for us because of my toddler. I won’t go into all the details, but I’ve tried many different things that just haven’t worked for her. However, I think God has been teaching me through the process that I need to relax and go with the flow more. So instead of sharing a list of ideas here, I’ll direct you to a few blog posts written by Marilyn Boyer, homeschool pioneer, mom of 13. These blog posts detail basically every piece of advice that I have.

One additional thing we’ve done is to have the boys (ages 8 and 6) take turns watching their little sister while I’m doing one-on-one work with the other. It has worked well, and some days that one-on-one work (Math, English/Language Arts, Spelling, etc.) is all we’re able to accomplish because Aniston is having "one of those days". This too shall pass, and I can’t say I’m eager to see her (or any of them) grow up, so I’m trying to embrace the bad that comes with the good. Some days I succeed. Some days...well...not so much. :)

Best of “luck” to you! You CAN DO IT!

"I have a hard time being patient with my kids after school. I think I'd spend the whole day yelling at them. Are you super patient??"

Pfft! Bahahahahahaha!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Um, no.

Feel free to read some of my previous posts and you’ll see that I’m not patient by nature. That’s the funny thing about God. He sometimes asks you to step into an arena that will display some of your worst weaknesses, all so that He can show His strength through it all. It’s truly miraculous.

And being with your kids all day is something you adapt to. Truly, it is. I hear moms all the time tell me they don’t know how I stay home with my kids all day, and I say to them, “I don’t know how YOU balance working outside the home with being a mom.” It dumbfounds me! I think I’d fall apart!

{Have a question you’d like to ask? Use the form below to answer as many questions as you like. It’s completely anonymous…so fire away!}