When I went outside today, I discovered that UPS had delivered a package. I thought it was a package I've been expecting, so I brought it inside and opened it right up.
(Seriously...it's a good thing we're not rich because I adore receiving packages in the mail. It would become an addiction if we had moolah.)
It wasn't until I had the box opened that I realized that it was addressed to one of the dozens of people who used to call this place home (it was a rental house before we bought it). Aw, crap.
So I grabbed the packing list, which was right on top of the packing materials, and proceeded to send an email to customer service at PersonalizationMall.com.
And here's where it gets hilarious.
According to the packing list, the package contains a "Love is Precious Personalized Glass Heart", engraved with "Kevin & Katherine 2009". And on the packing list, it prints a "Gift Card Message" that reads, verbatim:
I love you baby. Always. This love is for real and will never fade. I can not wait to be in your arms. Loving you for the rest of our lives. Raising our family together. I love you!
It would appear that true love means you send chintzy engraved gifts to your beloved.
It also would appear that it is entirely optional to inform your true love that you have, um, moved.